A half written post that's been sitting in my draft box since September. Publishing it now because I never want to forget.
(Are you ready for the birthday madness? We
kind of are. Back to back birthdays are no joke... should have tried harder to keep Cora in for a few more days. Kidding, of course. )
Last year Jack's two year old doctors appointment fell right smack dab on his birthday. Super fun, I know. But we were rushing to get his last set of shots done before a fresh little baby sister joined the family and was exposed to all his germs on the daily. As the time came near to the appointment my mom kept offering to take him for me. I kept telling her a big fat no. I was super pregnant, super uncomfortable, and very near labor but I wanted to be the one to take him. Because I knew the doctor was going to want to talk about his speech.
So that how I ended up standing in the pediatrician's office balancing a grumpy two year old on my belly, timing contractions. When the doctor told me it was time to get some extra help for Jack since he still wasn't saying much at all, I was pretty upset. I was kind of a wreck. Emotions were high (I literally was holding Cora in my arms 12 hours later) but maybe I would have been upset no matter when it would have happened. Because it isn't easy to hear that your child is behind. Even if it is just a little bit. Even if everyone you know is saying that they know so-and- so who didn't talk until they were five and then were fine. That doesn't make it better. Not when you have a doctor handing you pamphlets full of information and telling you to call and get your child evaluated, he has several markers for autism.
Evaluations are rough. Sitting back and watching your child be asked questions or to do simple tasks and just watching kind of sucks. I never knew what to do with the information I was gathering. I didn't know what it meant that he could do parts a and b of the evaluation but couldn't quite figure c out. I was always a little stressed since his mood and how comfortable he felt always played a big roll in how he did. I am still not certain there is a great way to evaluate young kids. We did another one yesterday and I still think it's so subjective and easily skewed. But I have become a big believer in early intervention. I do think that getting kids help while their young is beneficial. I am still deciding what is next for Jack in terms of speech therapy since everything changes when he turns three. But I am glad we have done everything the way we have so far. Seeing him improve has been awesome. Plus we have learned a lot of great things through the process.
So here is a little of what Jack has taught me the past year.
Hard work always pays off. Hard work doesn't always pay off exactly when or how you want it to, but it always pays off.
It is good to understand what it feels like to be different.
For a while, Jack would run into problems playing with friends. They would get frustrated when he didn't understand them or the game they were trying to play. He would get frustrated that they didn't understand what he was trying to tell them. So he would hit, or cry, or just give up and come home and it was really really hard to watch.
Fast forward a bit and that communication he had been lacking started to set in. Jack was making more friends and I felt so relieved. It was becoming easier for him to do what kids are supposed to do, play.
Then we met a beautiful girl with a bright smile, and one extra chromosome. Although she was older, she could communicate even less than Jack. The moment we met her, I saw Jack's hesitation as he watched her try so hard to tell him her name. He studied her for a moment. Then went right up and took her hand and pulled her over to where he was playing. He understood her gestures, her half words. He knew everything she wasn't saying. Watching their friendship develop over the weeks made each moment of Jack being the odd man out worth it.
