Mother's Day

I have a really hard time articulating my thoughts and feelings when it comes to Motherhood. There is just so much…
As usual I find that Elder Holland says it best.

I love and am so thankful for all of the Mothers in my life. And I love love love love the kiddos who made me a mama and my best friend who supports me in chasing after my dreams. They both move pretty quick these days.

Parker helped the kids and Dax make me a card. It said, "We tried to count how much we love you but, we ran out of fingers toes and paws" 

When I neared the end of my pregnancy with Jack I remember thinking, "I'm excited to have my body be my own again" Then of course came breastfeeding and I thought surely when we wrapped that up, my body would be my own again. Ha. I'm a mom.
My arms are a cradle, the safe place after a bad dream. My hands are their lego builders, spoon feeders, bike steadiers and bandaid appliers. My eyes are constantly focused on them. My feet know the way to the crib in the dark, they pace back and forth in the night and chase up and down in the day. Even in my sleep my ears are trained to hear the smallest cry. My shoulder is the place for them to rest their heads. My mind is full of thoughts of them. Worries. Hopes. I need to wash his favorite blanket, she needs longer pajamas.
Maybe some day I'll get those parts of me back. Maybe some day I won't give all of myself all of the time…
But they will always have my heart. My heart swells with joy when they are happy, floods with sorrow when they are in pain and holds a continual prayer day in and day out, "Thank you for sending them to us, please keep them safe, please help me to be a good mother." I know that will never change.