3 Weeks In

And I love being his mama.

Who wouldn't want to wake up to this face every morning. (Even if by morning I mean 2 A.M. Because Jack is wide awake from two in the morning until four in the morning every morning. No matter what we do.) 

We survived his first cold. It broke my heart to see him feel so yucky. He just wanted to be held. So for 48 hours we did this.... 

There have been so many big changes. But the transition has felt natural. Not easy. But natural. We are still figuring each other out and I get to know him a little better every day.

 The kid has a good set of lungs.  I felt kind of mean taking this picture while he was crying. But even his screaming face is adorable. 

It has been a wonderful three weeks. 

Meet Jack.

Parker and I had been married all of two months when found out that fertility was going to be an issue for me.  After sixteen months of trying, seven rounds of fertility treatments, loss and heartache, we found out I was pregnant.
After two hundred and eighty-three days of being pregnant, thirteen hours of labor and ninety minutes of pushing we got to meet our miracle boy!
And every single second of waiting, was worth it.

I had a high fever at the end of delivery which meant both Jack and I needed to be on antibiotics. Jack was taken to the NICU. We had an hour with him after delivery and we cherished every second before we had to hand him over. Later that night after they had run tests we got to go back down and be with him. Here we are with our matching IVs. His was so little!

They told us he would have to stay there for 48 hours to be monitored. Then longer if he had an infection.  But he was kicked out after 27 hours for being too healthy. Which in NICU time is nothing. I have so much admiration for NICU moms. And NICU nurses. Ours were so wonderful. 

Needless to say we were thrilled when we got to bring him home with us. 

And now we are home. Covered in spit up and pee. Sleep deprived and fumbling with snaps on clean pajamas in the middle of the night. Parker is a natural and Jack adores him. I adore Parker even more than I did before, which I didn't think was possible. Jack has stolen my heart with his permanent frown and his big eyes. And he must like me too because he lets out a yelp whenever he leaves my arms. We have never been happier. 

It has been a long journey. Throughout this whole experience I have learned to rely on strength I didn't know I had. To lean on Parker for support and to support him right back. Most importantly I have learned to trust the Lord and his timing.  At the end of it all I found a love that I didn't know was possible. 

Now he is here and a new journey is starting. One that I am sure will be every bit as challenging. And so rewarding. 

Jack,
Hope can be a scary thing when you have felt the bitter sting of disappointment. But your very existence will forever be my reminder to always have hope.  Your arrival into this world was the exact moment God intended. He has big plans for you kid.
Jack never lose faith and always be brave enough to hope. 
Love Mama