New Years Eve

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We sure did. Although lately life has felt like one giant melt down. Apparently being 15 months old is really hard. Being so close to being able to communicate but just not able to spit it out can be really frustrating. Jack is expressing his frustration all the time. He will go from happy and laughing to an on the floor kicking and screaming tantrum in a matter of seconds. He is also hitting and yelling "No" quite a bit. We are doing what we can.

 I remember last year on New Years Eve being so physically exhausted. At that point Jack still wasn't sleeping more than two hours at a time. But he was such a happy little baby whenever he was awake. 

Now kiddo sleeps 10- 12 hours a night! But I am mentally exhausted. Because even though I try all day to keep him happy, I feel like we are just going from one tantrum to the next. I find myself wondering if maybe physical exhaustion was easier.

That's life though right? It is so tempting to look back or forward, and think things were or are going to be easier.  I am constantly reminding myself to love where we are. Because every phase comes with ups and downs. 

So today instead of resolutions I am going to write down a few things I love about my life, the way it is right now, today. 

• Jack calls me "Mom Mom" not mama, not mommy, not mom. Mom Mom. It is adorable.
• We have so much snow. Jack and I have been sledding and fort building and having all sorts of snow adventures. 
• Parker and I both love our church callings. He is in Young Mens and I am in Activity Days. We love being involved with the youth. 
• Whenever we tell Daxter to "Sit" Jack sits down too. 
• Despite how crazy things have been I have managed to read so many good books recently. 
• Jack associates the phone with Daddy. Whenever he grabs a phone he holds it up to his ear and says "Eh-O" followed by "Dadadadadadada" 
• Jack is becoming so particular. And although it can be difficult at times- seeing him develop interests, likes, and dislikes is fascinating. 
• Jack is big enough to ride on my back. For some reason that feels like an important milestone. 
• Having Parker around for the holidays has been the best. I love when we get extra time with him. 
• This Christmas will always be extra special in our memories because my sister adopted her daughter, Olivia! We got to go together as family to the temple and see her sealed to them. 
• My little family is healthy. We have a place to live. And we are all together. 
• I have seen my big crazy family a lot recently. 
• I have my mom and sisters to ask about baby rashes, baby coughs, baby everything. 
• Parker still makes me laugh, a real laugh, every single day.  

Things really are pretty great around here. 2015 is going to be a good one. 

Christmas in an Envelope

A while back we received a bright red envelope in the mail. Stuffed inside were enough gift cards to finance a large Christmas. It was sent anonymously and although I have been itching to discover the sender Parker has convinced me to let it be. Someone out there wanted to do something special and selfless. And they wanted to do it quietly.
If by chance the sender of this generous gift knows us well enough to visit our little blog- Thank you. Thank you so much. 
The contents of the envelope are valuable. But what we will hold closest to our hearts this Christmas season was the selfless act of whoever sent it. Knowing someone out there loves us enough to send us Christmas in an envelope is the true gift. Kindness in contagious. Thank you for reminding us what Christmas is all about.

Let us all remember the first Christmas gift this season.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Ok world wide web. Lets get personal.
This week has been a nightmare.
Everything started to go wrong when I was forced to take Jack into a public restroom. Curse my I-Have-Had-A-Baby-Bladder. Foolishly I thought I could 'just make it work' by taking him into the stall with me. Wrong. Before I could do anything to stop it, Jack crawled under the stall door and I could hear him giggling and squealing as he ran out of the bathroom. I was yelling "Jack Vincent get back here" while I composed myself enough to chase after him. I caught him just outside the bathroom- thank goodness. But it was a big embarrassing scene. All of the other moms were looking at me with a judgmental "I have never let my kid run away from me while I was going to the bathroom" look in their eyes.
And then things got worse. So much worse.
That night was the Relief Society Christmas party. A progressive dinner. A perfect chance for all of the women to get together, chat, and see three homes all dressed up for Christmas. Because I was going with my mother, who is notoriously early to everything, we arrived at the first house about seven minutes before we were supposed to. Our hostess was finishing up some last minute things and asked if I would mind lighting the candles on the dining room table.
The candles were arranged around a festive center piece complete with beautiful Christmas greenery. It was sort of like a Christmas tree in a pretty vase. After I lit the candles I returned to the kitchen where a few more ladies had shown up. We were chatting about the appetizers and the weather for a few minutes, and then we smelled the smoke. Yes, smoke.  We ran to the dining room and sure enough the center piece was up in flames. Yes you are reading that correctly. I started a fire in my neighbors formal dining room.
The center piece was rushed to the sink and soaked with water. I guess all things considered it turned out fine. There was no damage done to anything other than the center piece. But I am fairly certain I will never be attending another neighborhood event. Ever. To be honest I might not ever leave the house house again. Ever. It was without a doubt the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me.
After a rough night of restless sleep wondering how one properly apologizes for starting a neighbors center piece on fire (a card? flowers?) I started a new day determined to not give into my desire to dig a deep dark hole and spend a few days inside. It was going pretty good.
Then Jack broke my nose.
You see my son, the light of my life, has a crazy big head. Sometimes I wonder how he manages to stay upright with that huge noggin placed on his little neck. My son also has the most heart warming laugh. And when he laughs he throws that incredibly large head back in pure delight. It is pretty magical. Unless he is sitting on your lap when he starts to laugh and he throws his head back straight into your nose hard enough that you hear it crack.
So here I am, two dark bruises under my eyes that meet up on the bridge of my nose with a killer headache complaining to the internet.
But I am not just complaining. I have secret hopes that somehow someday Jack will be interested in reading this blog. I know. Fat chance. But just incase any part of my crazy obsession with wanting to know the stories of peoples lives gets passed down and he does read this…. This is the point.

Jack sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it feels like life is just adding insult to injury. A lot of things happened this week that I wish didn't. Silly embarrassing things. But other hard things too. Last week you got your head stuck between the wall and the air hockey table. I know that says a whole lot about my parenting skills. But you are really hard to keep up with right now. Anyway there wasn't enough room for me to pick you up and pull you out and the table was too heavy for me to move. The only thing I could do was shove your head down and make you crawl out. But you were pretty upset. You kept trying to stand up. So I had to keep shoving you down. And I know it was confusing because I am your mom and I am supposed to help you. But kiddo I was helping. Even though it didn't feel like it. Even though it felt like I just kept pushing you down. You crawled out. I picked you up and hugged you until you stopped crying. I think sometimes God has to knock us down to get us to where we need to be.  It can be confusing because He loves us and we know He wants to help us. But kiddo He is helping. And when we crawl out of whatever it is we are stuck in, He will lift us up.