Dear 2013

You were a year for the books.
 The year Breaking Bad came to an end. The year the Xbox 1 and iPhone 5 S came to be. The year Peyton Manning threw seven touchdown passes in one game, the first person to do that since 1969. And then six weeks later Nick Foles did it too. The year I took Parker to a Phillies game and stood in Independence Hall on the Fourth of July. The year I had my golden birthday. The year Mariano Rivera retired.
But all of that will be overshadowed by a little frown on the boy who captured our hearts the first time we heard his beat.
That's right 2013, you will live in my memory as the year that brought Jack to us and marked my beginning of motherhood.
I learned first hand the horrors and wonders that happen when you are blessed enough to grow a tiny human inside of you. I watched the body I knew so well stretch and change into something remarkable.A mother.
I spent countless sleepless nights with my best friend as we tried to figure out this business of parenting. The memories of pacing the hallway in our small apartment passing our newborn son back and forth trying to sooth him will stay with Parker and I forever. For the past three months we have devoted our time and energy into figuring him out. And we are.
You are a year that changed me, and Parker too, for the better. Tested us and pushed us until we grew.
You are the year that taught me true joy can be found on the living room floor watching a small baby learn to roll over. The year that ended with staying in, because bedtime is not something you mess around with.
You are the year my family grew by two feet, ten toes, and one dimpled chin.
Thank 2013. You truly were one for the books.

Newborn Photos

Two Months

The past two months have gone by so fast. But also the days before Jack seem like a life time ago. 

There are a few things that have happened since my last update that I want to have documented. So here is a quick picture update: 

We had a wonderful visit from Kyle and Sarah.  It was so fun to spend time with them and Jack was in heaven from all the special attention. 

We have watched a lot of football. 

Jack started crying real tears. And he cried a lot of them when he got his first set of shots. 

He started smiling. 

And stopped taking naps... unless I am holding him. 

He is now weighing in at 12 pounds 8 ounces. And is a bit over 23 inches long. He still is not sleeping through the night. Maybe by my next update? Fingers crossed. 

A Weekend Of Thanksgiving

We had a wonderful holiday. I hope you all did too!
Our first Thanksgiving with Jack went smoothly. He looked quite handsome in his overalls. I am convinced all little boys need a good pair of overalls. Here are my favorite snapshots from Thanksgiving:

The kid loves to play with his tongue.

 He sat on my lap all through dinner, because he hates to be left out. And I mean hates it.  It was a really wonderful day.

On Saturday my sisters "baby" got baptized. And the next day we blessed our little Jack. It was such a wonderful weekend spent remember what is really important, and everything we have to be thankful for.

It was so fun for these boys to share a big weekend.  Jack's tie was made from one of Parker's old tie. And yep he isn't wearing pants. I am in love with his thunder thighs and so we let him rock the button up shirt onesie- no pants style. Classic look. 

I am so Thankful for my little family of three! We just had family photos taken and these are my favorites.

Spectacular

 Newborns are just so new. They know nothing about this great big world. What a joy it has been to watch him start figuring things out. 

[In the NICU]

During his first month here he has discovered his hands. The poor little guy wants to put them in his mouth and they just won't fit. But that doesn't stop him from trying. 

He has such an intent stare. We call him Bright Eyes.  It was something we started doing in the hospital and it stuck. When he is awake his eyes are wide open and looking all around. And those bright eyes have just gotten bigger and brighter. Sometimes we just sit and stare at each other.  

He knows exactly who I am, and that has to be the best feeling in the world. We can be in a room full of experienced moms who know a lot more about babies than I do, but it doesn't matter, he still wants me. He is a mamas boy. When he get really upset he can't be soothed by anyone else. He gets really upset because of his reflux. He projectile vomits all over us daily. Parker and I are constantly soaked. Our washer is on all day steady just to keep up on baby clothes and burp rags.

[I caught most of this spit up with a burp rag the mess on his shirt is what soaked through] 

 Sometimes he spits and doesn't skip a beat. But other times, especially at night, he arches his back, gets red in the face, screams and screams, and is in so much pain. That is the worst. But we work through it. He is already a tough little guy. We hope he outgrows it soon. In the meantime we have found that keeping him upright after eating for at least thirty minutes really helps. We also shoved some books under one end of his crib mattress because he can't sleep flat on his back. Plus a little bit of gripe water goes a long way.  He is growing so fast. He started out at six pounds and fifteen ounces and was twenty and a half inches long. At one month he is over ten pounds and almost two inches longer. And although it made me a little sad that he wasn't little for long I mostly feel relieved.

[one week old]

[one month old]

 He seems so much less fragile now. And I know he is healthy and getting plenty to eat. He is pretty good about holding his head up. He doesn't love tummy time but it is impressive to watch him lift and turn that giant head of his. He loves bath time. Which is good because of how often we are washing spit up out of his hair. 

His hair is growing almost as fast as his head. He has quite the little mullet. Parker wants to cut it but I won't let him. I have just about given up trying to keep it combed. His bed head puts a smile on my face every morning.

 

He sleeps better swaddled. If we don't swaddle him he waves his long arms all around and hits himself in the face with those big hands and wakes up. I don't know why he starts swinging his arms above his head in his sleep. But he does.

 Parker is much better at the swaddling than I am. Jack can always get out when I do it. Jack loves his dad. They already hang out and watch football together.

 In fact that's what they have been doing while I have been typing this up. A lengthy post about all of the things I don't want to forget. I want to capture as much as I can. Because it has been amazing to watch him everyday. He is spectacular. Really truly spectacular. 

3 Weeks In

And I love being his mama.

Who wouldn't want to wake up to this face every morning. (Even if by morning I mean 2 A.M. Because Jack is wide awake from two in the morning until four in the morning every morning. No matter what we do.) 

We survived his first cold. It broke my heart to see him feel so yucky. He just wanted to be held. So for 48 hours we did this.... 

There have been so many big changes. But the transition has felt natural. Not easy. But natural. We are still figuring each other out and I get to know him a little better every day.

 The kid has a good set of lungs.  I felt kind of mean taking this picture while he was crying. But even his screaming face is adorable. 

It has been a wonderful three weeks. 

Meet Jack.

Parker and I had been married all of two months when found out that fertility was going to be an issue for me.  After sixteen months of trying, seven rounds of fertility treatments, loss and heartache, we found out I was pregnant.
After two hundred and eighty-three days of being pregnant, thirteen hours of labor and ninety minutes of pushing we got to meet our miracle boy!
And every single second of waiting, was worth it.

I had a high fever at the end of delivery which meant both Jack and I needed to be on antibiotics. Jack was taken to the NICU. We had an hour with him after delivery and we cherished every second before we had to hand him over. Later that night after they had run tests we got to go back down and be with him. Here we are with our matching IVs. His was so little!

They told us he would have to stay there for 48 hours to be monitored. Then longer if he had an infection.  But he was kicked out after 27 hours for being too healthy. Which in NICU time is nothing. I have so much admiration for NICU moms. And NICU nurses. Ours were so wonderful. 

Needless to say we were thrilled when we got to bring him home with us. 

And now we are home. Covered in spit up and pee. Sleep deprived and fumbling with snaps on clean pajamas in the middle of the night. Parker is a natural and Jack adores him. I adore Parker even more than I did before, which I didn't think was possible. Jack has stolen my heart with his permanent frown and his big eyes. And he must like me too because he lets out a yelp whenever he leaves my arms. We have never been happier. 

It has been a long journey. Throughout this whole experience I have learned to rely on strength I didn't know I had. To lean on Parker for support and to support him right back. Most importantly I have learned to trust the Lord and his timing.  At the end of it all I found a love that I didn't know was possible. 

Now he is here and a new journey is starting. One that I am sure will be every bit as challenging. And so rewarding. 

Jack,
Hope can be a scary thing when you have felt the bitter sting of disappointment. But your very existence will forever be my reminder to always have hope.  Your arrival into this world was the exact moment God intended. He has big plans for you kid.
Jack never lose faith and always be brave enough to hope. 
Love Mama  

A Room For The Little One