2nd Child

Well, that was quick. My second child, my BABY, is almost one. Yikes. I am emotional in a different way than I was when Jack was turning one. If I'm being honest I am feeling a lot of guilt. Because here is the thing. When Jack was a baby I basically stared at him for 12 months. That was where we were in life, that was all I was doing. This year hasn't played out that way. Obviously because Jack is still in the picture. But it was more than that. We moved and I feel like taking on a house and yard was almost as time consuming as taking on another child was. Parker not only switched jobs but at one time was working three at once. Our lives were constantly evolving this year and we were doing our best to evolve right along with it.  

So Cora June, I feel guilty because I didn't spend as much time staring at you. Also last night I laid awake feeling bad that you've never been on a pony ride. I'm learning that there is no formula to motherhood. I can't do everything the same way that I did the first time around. Because life moves forward and circumstances are different. I can guarantee a couple of things though. The first is that I love you just as much.Always have always will. I may not have had as much time to sit and hold you and stare at you... but I think that made me appreciate our quiet moments together that much more. I promise I will make you a birthday cake, just like I did for your brother, and I will go full paparazzi, taking a million photos as you smash it all over your cute face.  I can also guarantee that you will get things that Jack did not. Starting with you have big brother. A friend. You weren't ever stuck at home with just me. 

And you have really enjoyed having a built in best bud.... most of the time.